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❤　私の心　❤

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I feel like I have a lot to say, but at the same time, I don't want to make this another monster update where I ramble about things that don't even make sense ^^ However this thing turns out, bear with it n_n


and it really got me thinking about where I've been going ^^; I haven't been studying as much as I would've liked to and that has made me even less motivated to pick up that book. "I don't have time" and all kinds of excuses. I will never ever respect a person who blames the fact that he/she hasn't done anything on "I didn't have time" because really, you do. No matter how much stuff you have going on that day, you can take an hour or even just half an hour in the evening to sit your ass down and study. That's called being lazy and not having the balls to admit it. But I kind of turned into that myself.

So I opened my books and I sat down, and I studied for probably 2 hours while my dear friend kept me company online c: I realized that it IS important to look back, because even now when it feels like I haven't progressed at all, when I look back at the time when I could barely conjugate verbs, I realize I have become better, at least a little bit. Every minute I study brings me forward, and it's like he said - A year from now I will wish that I had started today. 

So this somewhat opened my eyes for what I've been blind to and I concluded that I'm okay with my level. I'm not good, but that's okay. I haven't made any real effort to become good either, so why would I be? Studying 4 hours a week isn't gonna cut it, it helps, but it's not good enough. I know I have time. EVERYONE has time. Want to sleep 8 hours a night? Make that 7. Reading the newspaper for an hour every morning? Don't, you can do that later. Mindlessly reading blogs or being on facebook? Skip that for a day, study instead. I realized I have so much time that I think I don't, because I like to make excuses so that I don't have to feel bad for not being as good as I should be. From now on, I'll stop with that.

I don't know if you study Japanese. If you "say" you're studying Japanese. If you actually do. So I don't know if this will matter to you in the slightest. But this was really something important to me. I really really want to live in Japan when I grow up. I want to build a future there. It's not something I'm joking around about, it's not a dream that "might" come true for me. I'm serious. I've been spoiled enough living in Finland so thinking things will just work out for me is somewhat natural. But it won't. If I don't do anything about it, nothing will happen because nobody wants someone who blames everything on something or someone else. I read about tons and tons of people who say their dream is to live in Japan, to know japanese.
... Please don't insult my dream like that. I don't want to be put together in the same group as people who talk and talk and talk about how they're studying and how they will live there one day when in reality, they don't put in any effort at all. That makes everyone who's actually serious look bad.

I don't know why this thing suddenly came to life orz It wasn't supposed to end up like this, but I guess it's okay once in a while ^^ I haven't ranted in a while so just... live with it?

If you read through this whole monster, thank you? ^^;; And happy holidays for as long as they last!

Labels: Japanese

Hello!

So to further describe my existance, I shall write what I assume will be an unnecessary profile.

So my name's Jennifer and I'm soon to be 18 and hella glad for that as well. I live in a village the size of your palm in the middle of nowhere and I take the bus to and from my school everyday for 20 minutes. I have decent grades, nothing to brag about except my average of 10 (full score) in English (lol my pride and glory) and I will try hard to raise them I promise. OTL I have a somewhat unhealthy love for languages as I tend to pick up a tad too many and at the moment I'm studying French, Japanese, Spanish, Finnish and English (while Swedish is my mothertongue). (English can't really count as studying though so scratch that.)

My ultimate life goal is to move to Japan and make a big enough success out of this waste of space of a life to actually get to stay there and if I'd get to choose, I'd never come back to Finland. I hate cold weather, I really dislike freezing but I do love wrapping myself up in warm clothing and blankets and sip on some hot chocolate while the chilly weather stays outside. I don't like sweating, but I like the summer. I don't really have any special feelings about autumn or spring.

I live with my mom and my brother and sister, both younger than me, and my dad lives a random life in Spain. (I don't really care to keep up, it's mostly gym business anyways.) He calls sometimes but I rarely see him and it's been that way for such a long time that it doesn't really affect me anymore.

I think I'm a person really easy to misinterpret, because it seems as if many people think I'm someone I'm not. I don't know why that is, but I guess I can be pretty foulmouthed sometimes. I really can't stand people who complain about the smallest of things and that pisses me off. Weak people also pisses me off, those who just looks as if they're begging to be beaten up. (Not that I'd hit anyone, I really wouldn't, but you know those people.) People who are full of themselves can also go die, especially if they're younger than me and act as if I couldn't just step on them like an ant. I guess I dislike lots of different types of people...

For things that I love, I can mention things like manga, fanfics (boy luv onley), kpop, jrock, visual kei, going to concerts, touching the artists inappropriately when I manage to reach them on stage, studying languages, reading about asian stuff, looking at Tokyo on Google Maps, research universities, look at apartments in Tokyo and calculate how much I would have to make to live there. Yes, I have a life like that. <3

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I feel like I have a lot to say, but at the same time, I don't want to make this another monster update where I ramble about things that don't even make sense ^^ However this thing turns out, bear with it n_n


and it really got me thinking about where I've been going ^^; I haven't been studying as much as I would've liked to and that has made me even less motivated to pick up that book. "I don't have time" and all kinds of excuses. I will never ever respect a person who blames the fact that he/she hasn't done anything on "I didn't have time" because really, you do. No matter how much stuff you have going on that day, you can take an hour or even just half an hour in the evening to sit your ass down and study. That's called being lazy and not having the balls to admit it. But I kind of turned into that myself.

So I opened my books and I sat down, and I studied for probably 2 hours while my dear friend kept me company online c: I realized that it IS important to look back, because even now when it feels like I haven't progressed at all, when I look back at the time when I could barely conjugate verbs, I realize I have become better, at least a little bit. Every minute I study brings me forward, and it's like he said - A year from now I will wish that I had started today. 

So this somewhat opened my eyes for what I've been blind to and I concluded that I'm okay with my level. I'm not good, but that's okay. I haven't made any real effort to become good either, so why would I be? Studying 4 hours a week isn't gonna cut it, it helps, but it's not good enough. I know I have time. EVERYONE has time. Want to sleep 8 hours a night? Make that 7. Reading the newspaper for an hour every morning? Don't, you can do that later. Mindlessly reading blogs or being on facebook? Skip that for a day, study instead. I realized I have so much time that I think I don't, because I like to make excuses so that I don't have to feel bad for not being as good as I should be. From now on, I'll stop with that.

I don't know if you study Japanese. If you "say" you're studying Japanese. If you actually do. So I don't know if this will matter to you in the slightest. But this was really something important to me. I really really want to live in Japan when I grow up. I want to build a future there. It's not something I'm joking around about, it's not a dream that "might" come true for me. I'm serious. I've been spoiled enough living in Finland so thinking things will just work out for me is somewhat natural. But it won't. If I don't do anything about it, nothing will happen because nobody wants someone who blames everything on something or someone else. I read about tons and tons of people who say their dream is to live in Japan, to know japanese.
... Please don't insult my dream like that. I don't want to be put together in the same group as people who talk and talk and talk about how they're studying and how they will live there one day when in reality, they don't put in any effort at all. That makes everyone who's actually serious look bad.

I don't know why this thing suddenly came to life orz It wasn't supposed to end up like this, but I guess it's okay once in a while ^^ I haven't ranted in a while so just... live with it?

If you read through this whole monster, thank you? ^^;; And happy holidays for as long as they last!

Labels: Japanese